Have not written anything of substance. No, not at all. Weeks away from the process, I feel unclean. Thoughts are lost in clouded water. It all seems complicated. I miss my characters. I wish I could call them. Or, at the very least write on their Facebook walls…
Two jobs (now one). End of Semester Whatever. Holidays. Getting on the on-ramp to nursing school. I have reasons to be mentally checked out, obviously. Caught in the cycle (vicious?) of not being able to write -> not being able to function because I am not writing -> impending mental asphyxiation.
I have no lesson gained or sage lyric to conclude this daft jaunt of a post. I suppose running out of fuel on the on-ramp is a good reason not to get on. Of course, I don’t have that choice. Another life compromise? Yes! And in two easy steps!
1. Admit you have a problem.
I have this basic need that must be met in order for me to not walk around with toothpaste in my hair mumbling nonsensical quotes from Jane Eyre at people. I must indulge in a creative process of my own making. I either have to write, or think about writing (not while spacing out).
Ms. Rowling is always asked during interviews, “are you currently writing anything?” To which she always replies yes, noting that she has to write for her own mental health.
Seems simple enough. She writes for herself. But the simplest things always seem to be the most complicated to execute, because we bring our complications to the table. It’s like sitting down to a perfectly made meal, then trying to eat it with a bent-back fork.
2. Realize you are the problem.
The constant dilemma of finding time has little or nothing to do with the 753 things on the to-list; it has everything to do with me. Yes, I have to go to work, do homework, feed the dog, do the laundry, the dishes, and watch the latest Grey’s episode. But I am choosing to prioritize all of those things above writing. It is my job to plan and execute a schedule that allows me to write, a job that I have failed to do.
This blog is a small way of helping my remember how much I love writing, and that my words are important. I must constantly tell myself: There is no excuse not to write. I have forever insisted that writing is not a hobby, so why do I treat it like one?
I sincerely hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Thanks for the support this year!!